MyVFW Social Network    Latest MyVFW Photos   Latest MyVFW Videos    MyVFW Groups    Latest Network News

Author Topic: Texas - - Excuse me, its TEXAS  (Read 2267 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline DoggyDaddy

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5516
  • Have Dog Will Travel
    • VFW Post 1716, Freedom CA
    • Email
Texas - - Excuse me, its TEXAS
« on: February 22, 2010, 08:38:37 am »


Cowboy rules for:

Arizona,  Texas ,    Oklahoma,      Colorado ,  New Mexico ,  Wyoming ,  Montana ,  
Utah ,  Idaho, Missouri and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up.  You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because
I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus.
Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us..
Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north
and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines
that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are
comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope
you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.. It's a religious holiday
held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.. Order steak, or you can
order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,
and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ...
We don't care what you folks in  Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ....

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over
ice.. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants,
the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump  ain't music, anyway.
We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends
that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can
begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
I love those cowboys!!
God Bless Texas! and AMERICA

« Last Edit: February 22, 2010, 08:42:04 am by DoggyDaddy »
Joe Kleinsmith
All State VFW Post 1716 Cmdr (1998-2000)
Cpt, VFW Post Honor Guard, Retired (1991-2009)
SC-SB County Council Cmdr (1996-1997)
SFC, US Army, Retired (1971-1991)
Full Time RV'er