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Virtual Sandbox => Put It In The Box => Jokes => Topic started by: dmh1566 on May 22, 2007, 04:17:29 pm

Title: Sex - Part 2
Post by: dmh1566 on May 22, 2007, 04:17:29 pm
Medicare & Sex

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, goes to a sex therapist's
office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor
raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple
is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing
wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming,
he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50, and he says good-bye.

The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist  
to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens
several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, they  have
intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have
to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"

The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's
married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here
for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare.
Title: Fireman Sex
Post by: DoggyDaddy on August 14, 2008, 08:51:51 pm
A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

'From now on when I say BELL 1
I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2
I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3
We are going to make love all night.

' The next night he came home from work and yelled
'BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled 'BELL 3!', they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!'
'What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?
'ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied   '
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.'

Title: 'Holy Prostitutes'
Post by: DoggyDaddy on March 18, 2009, 03:17:25 am
 
'Holy Prostitutes'

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES


He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES


Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST.. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT


His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
[/b]
He climbs the steps and rings the! bell.. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?'

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door..'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. 
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER
Title: Childbirth at 65
Post by: DoggyDaddy on March 21, 2009, 06:27:27 pm
Childbirth @65




With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old
friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the
hospital and went home, I went to visit.



'May I see the new baby?' I asked



'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'



Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.



After another few minutes had elapsed,



I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'



'No, not yet,' replied my friend.



Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'





'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.



'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'



'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'     :o
Title: Magic Sandals,
Post by: DoggyDaddy on March 25, 2009, 12:40:12 pm

A married couple were on  holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around 
the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they  passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican  accent say, 'You
foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble  shop.'

So the  married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals  I tink you would be
interested in. Dey makes you wild at  sex.'

Well, the  wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what  the
man claimed, but  her husband felt he really didn't need them,
being the Sex God that he  was.

The husband  asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex  freak?'

The  Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife,  finally gave in
and tried them on.

As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got  this wild look in his eyes,
something his wife hadn't seen before!!

In the  blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over  the table,
yanked down  his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a  firm hold of the
 Jamaican's thighs.

The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
Title: Re: Sex
Post by: DoggyDaddy on April 14, 2009, 02:06:48 am
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange  noises
coming from the bedroom.  She rushes upstairs to find her husband
naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

'What's up?' she asks.
'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing,
her four-year-old son comes up and says, 'Mommy! Mommy!

Aunt Susan is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!'

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into bed room,
right past her husband, and rips open the closet door.
 
Sure  enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.
 
'You rotten #######,' she screams.  'My husband's having a heart attack,
and you're running around naked scaring the kids!'
Title: How was I born ???
Post by: DoggyDaddy on August 12, 2009, 01:17:55 am

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' 

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! 
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.  Then I set up a date
via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room,
and googled each other.  There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared
that said: 


Scroll down...You'll love this ....
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 





'You got Male!
Title: Watch out for older women
Post by: DoggyDaddy on September 03, 2009, 11:57:01 pm
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and
would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware
store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by
the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
 
However, struggling outside the feed store he now had a problem -
how to carry all of his purchases home. While he was scratching his
head he was approached by a little old lady who said she was lost.
She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Maiden Lane ?'
 
He said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house.
I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
 
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the
bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm
and carry the goose in your other hand?'
 
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old
girl home.
 
On the way he says 'Let's take a short cut and go down this alley.
We'll be there in no time.'
 
The little old lady looked at him suspiciously and said, 'I am a lonely
widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when
we get in that alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up
my skirt, and have your way with me?'
 
The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon
of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly
hold you up against the wall and do that??'
 
The old lady answered, 'Well, set the goose down, cover him with the
bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket - - and I'll hold the chickens!'

 
 
Title: Great time at the beach
Post by: DoggyDaddy on September 28, 2009, 06:14:36 pm
Great time at the beach

A recently widowed Jewish Lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach,
Florida. She looked Up and noticed that a man her age had walked up,
placed his blanket on the Sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling,she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
“Hello, sir, how are you?”

“Fine, thank you,” he responded, and turned back to his book.

I love the beach. Do you come here often?” she asked.

“First time since my wife passed away last year,” he replied,
and again turned Back to his book.

“Do you live around here?” she asked.

“Yes, I live over in Suntree,” he answered, and then resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted..
“Do you like pussycats?”

With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers,
Tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man,
“How did You know that was what I wanted?”

The man replied, “How did you know my name was Katz?”
Title: Italian Bread
Post by: DoggyDaddy on October 02, 2009, 06:19:05 pm
 
 Two old guys,  one 80 and one 87,  were sitting on their usual park bench
 one morning.
 
 The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of
 breath.
 
 The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did
 to have so much energy.
 
 The 87 year old said, "Well,  I eat Italian bread every day.  It keeps your
 energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
 
 So, on the way home, 80 year old stops at the bakery.  As he was looking
 around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
 He said  "Do you have any Italian bread?"
 
 She said,  "Yes,  there's a whole shelf of it.   Would you like some?"
 
 He said,  "I want 5 loaves."
 
 She said, "My goodness,  5 loaves ...  by the time you get to the 5th loaf,
 it'll be hard."
 
 He replied,  "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this schit but me."
Title: A reason to change hotels
Post by: DoggyDaddy on October 08, 2009, 08:00:12 pm
 
 Last week I checked into my favorite hotel, and was a bit lonely.
 I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone
books like escorts and such. I picked up the phone book and found
an ad for a  girl calling  herself "Erogonique", a lovely girl, bending
over in the photo.
 
 
 She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful
 long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!
 
I figured, what the heck, give her a call.
 
   'Hello,' the woman says.......... God, she sounded sexy.
 
 Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and
 I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.
No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all
 alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want
 it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber,
 leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of
 tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up,
 cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream,
anything and everything! Now, how does that sound?'
 
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but please
 press  "9"  for an outside line.'     :D
Title: Only 24 hours to live
Post by: DoggyDaddy on October 10, 2009, 12:55:38 am
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife
that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.
Could we please do it one more time?'
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch
and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks,
'Honey, please... just one more time before I die.'
She says, 'Of course, Dear,' and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep.
Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns,
until he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours.
Do you think we could...'
At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough
I have to get up in the morning... you don't.'
Title: 11th Husband
Post by: DoggyDaddy on January 14, 2010, 07:58:26 pm

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously
divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her
new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."

"What ?" said the puzzled groom.
  "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband  #1 was a Sales Representative;
he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband #2 was in Software Services;
he was never really sure how it was supposed  to function;
but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

"Husband #3 was from Field Services;
he said that everything checked out diagnostically
but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had the order,
he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband #5 was an Engineer;
he understood the basic process but he wanted three years
to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

"Husband #6 was fromAdministration; 
he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure
whether it was his job or not..

"Husband #7 was in Marketing;although he had a product,
he was never sure how to position it.

"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
.
"Husband #10 was a  Stamp Collector; all he ever did was...
...God I miss him !!

"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why ?"

"You're with the  "GOVERNMENT "
  "This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."
Title: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on June 09, 2010, 03:43:38 pm
   INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT SEX:
                          Global Facts ... .. ..
         At Any Given Moment:
 
 
FACT:    79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now
 
FACT:   58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT:   37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT:   1 old timer is reading emails.  
 
 
You hang in there, Sunshine …
Title: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on September 12, 2010, 08:20:48 pm
A dog lover, whose dog was a bitch and 'in heat',
agreed to look after and house her neighbors' male dog
while they were away on vacation. She had a large house
however and believed that she could keep them apart
but as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling
and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs
locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage
as so frequently happens when they mate.
 
Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next,
although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
 
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said.
"hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing
will make the male lose his erection and be able to withdraw".
 
"Do you think that will work?" she asked
 
"It just worked for me" he replied.
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2 - 20 Things NOT To Say During Sex.....
Post by: DoggyDaddy on October 16, 2010, 03:00:38 am
20 Things NOT To Say During Sex.....Scroll all the way down.

1* I have to poop.
2* Smile for the camera
3* Get off me, i'll do it myself!
4* This is your first time.....Right?
5* You're almost as good as my ex!

6* When is this supposed to feel good?
7* I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs?
8* I was so horny tonight, I would have taken a sheep home.
9* Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.
10* Hey! My friends were right, you ARE good!

11* On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
12* I'm soberin up and you're gettin ugly!
13* But everybody looks funny naked!
14* Do I have to pay for this?
15* No! You're too fat to be on top. You'd kill me!

16* Your sister likes it like this.
17* What's your name again?
18* Hold on, let me change the channel.
19* And The Winner Is.........
20* It's nice being in bed with someone I don't have to inflate.
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on November 01, 2010, 05:03:44 pm
Vinnie is talking to Anthony: (In a thick Italian Accent)
 
Hey Antony.... You like a Lady with a Big Floppy Boobie that hang to their beltline???
Anthony says:" No I don't a like that"
So Antony you a like a lady with a Big Belly hanging over her Belt????
Anthony says;" No I don't a like"
So You like a lady with a BIG FAT AZZZZZ that look like a Cottage Cheese??????
Anthony says;" No I doesn't."
So tell me Antony.... You like a lady with a Mushtashe??? Looka like se not a shave for about a week?????
Anthony says:" NO.... I don't a like a lady like a that."
So Vinnie finally asks;
 
"So why you a foock my wife??????"
 
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2 - Illegal Immigrant Sex
Post by: DoggyDaddy on April 15, 2011, 07:44:39 pm
An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker..

"Hey, sista, how much you charge for da hour?" he says,
"$100" she says.
In broken English, he says,
"Do you do immigrant style?"
"No" she says.
"I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."
"No, she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
"I pay you $300."
"No," she says.
"I pay you $400."
"No," she says.
So finally he says,
"OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant  style."
 
She thinks,
"Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now.
I've had every kind of request from weirdoes
from every part of the world.
How bad could immigrant style be?"
So she agrees and has sex with him.
Finally, after several hours, they finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says,
"Hey, I was expecting something
perverted and disgusting.
But that was good.
So, what exactly is immigrant style?"
The illegal immigrant replies,
"You send bill to Government."

AND THAT MY FRIENDLY TAXPAYERS,
IS EXACTLY WHAT THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
ARE DOING TO US!
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on April 19, 2011, 12:05:42 am
POSSIBLE CONDOMN SLOGANS
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on April 20, 2011, 07:35:37 pm

Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox... While he was there, a very attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing just a robe. Duane smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go into my apartment, I hear someone coming..." He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Being completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!" She's astounded! "Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They are full, don't sag, and they're 100% natural! My buns, they are firm and do not sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes or scars! Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!" Clearing his throat once again, Duane stammers,
"Outside when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on April 20, 2011, 07:38:59 pm
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on April 25, 2011, 12:43:25 am

On his 16th b-day a farmer sends his son to town, with $20, to learn bout the facts of life. Farmer tells son, "Go into the 1st building with a red light and they will teach you everything." So the kid finds the 1st building with a red is a beauty shop. He goes in and is greeted by a cute young thing who asks if she can help. She notices the $20 in his hand and takes him in the back. They do the deed and when finished, she offers a complimentary manicure since it was his 1st time.
Two weeks later the boy returns to town and is approached by that cute young thing who says, "Hey don't I know you?" He says, "Oh, yeah, I remember you, you're the one that gave me the crabs, then cut my fingernails so I couldn't scratch them."
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on April 27, 2011, 01:17:20 am

Ten-year-old George is riding in the car with his mom and asks her where babies come from. Taking a deep breath, his mother explains the penis and the vagina, how the penis has sperm and the vagina holds eggs and how the man inserts his penis into the vagina, a sperm come out and fertilizes an egg and then 9 months later a baby is born. George is silent. His mother, concerned, asks, "I haven't upset you, have I?" "No," says George, "But I'm confused. I saw you and daddy this moring and his penis wasn't in your vagina." "Oh", says the mom, "That's because you asked me where babies came from, not diamonds".
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on May 14, 2011, 11:56:53 pm
My Mother is a Travel Agent.  She specializes in Guilt Trips.
      
An elderly lady of 72 years went to her doctor who was also a very good friend of the family. She told him George (her husband) had slowed way down on his preformance but would not come into the office or admit to his problem. She requested a small prescription of Viragra that she could sneek into his food when he was not looking.
The doctor explained to her administering any drug with out the other party's knowledge could be very dangerious and certaintly was illegal. But he consented to giving her the prescription and cautioned her to be very careful.
Three days later the doc called their home to see how things went. She said, "GREAT, I am so greatful to you it was much more than I expecited. When he went to the Mens room I crushed up two tablets and slipped them into his coffee. By the time he had gotton to his Cherry Pie he suddenley riped off the table cloth, dishes went flying all over and he then pulled up my skirt and ravished me for about 20 minutes." The doctor told he was proud of her and would gladly pay for all broken dishes and glasses. She clammily said, "That won't be necessary. I don't think we are welcome at Denny's any more."
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on May 24, 2011, 12:13:22 am
When my husband and I first got married we were told to get a large jar and every time we made love put nickels, dimes, quarters and half dollars in it then after ten years add it up and go on vacation. So a week before our l0th anniversary my husband produced the money jar or as I called it 'the honey money jar' and began spilling out the contents.
Out came nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars. More money stuck to the bottom, so he shook the jar some more and out came dollar bills, 5 dollar bills, ten dollar bills and a hundred dollar bill. He shook his head and said, "Gee, I don't remember putting these bills in-especially a hundred dollar bill. Where did those come from?" I smiled and said, "WHAT DO YA THINK, EVERYONE'S AS CHEAP AS YOU!"
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on March 10, 2014, 01:31:34 pm
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on February 21, 2016, 11:37:51 pm
What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after having sex?

"Honey, I will be home in 20 minutes."
Title: Re: Sex - Part 2
Post by: DoggyDaddy on October 11, 2017, 12:31:40 am
We Met at the Bar
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here, good looking.. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on...It doesn't matter to me. I just love it."
His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you federal or state?